Wednesday, October 14, 2009


God has a good way of getting my attention. It's almost funny sometimes.

Earlier today I was on the phone with my husband. We were discussing plans for the evening and he brought up his plan, which I really didn't like. You see, it didn't fit with my plans or my desires..that's why I didn't like it. So, I proceeded to try (in a sweet tone, of course) to make him realize that his plans weren't ideal, and that my plans just made better sense.

I try to respect my husband. I know that's what the Bible commands wives to do. It's what makes marriages work--when a man loves his wife, and the wife respects her husband. It's the perfect equation.

Yet, this phone call made me realize I'm not as great at the whole respect thing as I thought I was.

After hanging up with Bob, I got on FB and checked my inbox. A friend of mine had sent me and some other women an excerpt from a book called, "The Honeymoon of Your Lifetime". I read it, and just had to laugh at the irony of the situation. God instantly allowed me to realize that I had just disrespected my husband on the phone (even though I thought I was being practical and sweet).

Really, what I told my husband on the phone was, "Honey, your plan isn't going to work. I want my way and this is how it's going to be done because my way makes more sense." How rude is that!?

The really sad part is that I know I'm guilty of this a lot. I guess it hasn't hit me until now because I'm usually calm and try to talk to him in a loving tone (even though I am still forcing my opinions on him). I'm not allowing him to lead like he should be able to. It's really an ugly habit.

I may not always like the way Bob wants to do things (I'm know he could say the same about me!), but He is the head of our household. He's my husband. He's wonderful. And I love him. He needs to know that I love him, and more importantly, respect him, by allowing him to take the lead. That's how God designed it to be. I don't want to be an overbearing, nagging wife. Yuck. How gross.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...I think I finally found out what it means to me.

Here's the excerpt taken from,
"The Honeymoon of Your Lifetime"

A wife has a couple of unique roles in the divinely designed marriage. In Ephesians 5:33, the Bible teaches, "The wife must respect her husband." While your husband is supposed to unconditionally love you, you are to unconditionally respect him. Not only is this not easy--its impossible! At least its impossible in your power and strength.
Your man is as divinely designed to respond positively to your unconditional respect and admiration as you are divinely designed to respond to his loving, honoring, nourishing and cherishing care of you.

This isnt a woman-sized job; its a God-sized job.
It requires God's supernatural love.

The woman is to encourage him to provide leadership in your marriage. We also know that women are strong, capable, and talented--of that there's no doubt. But, ladies, a woman who tries to prove these traits by dominating her husband will actually drive him away.
Choose to demonstrate your feminine strength by respecting your husband and encouraging him to lead you and your children. Lift him up when you are with him and speak highly of him when you are with others. Choose to be strong in your support of him--in cheering him on. It's a much more powerful position than it appears.
We could all use a bit more respect, but men cannot live without it--especially from their soul mate.


  1. What a great post! After 27 years of marriage I think we can get kind of lazy and forget our roles as wives and we forget to be submissive. I have been bad about this too and lately I have been trying again. I would like to find that book!

    Have a happy day!


  2. Wow, nothin like calling you out! I am so so bad at this!! I too, try to press my opinions onto my husband, I do it nicely, but I always try to get it the way I see it. This is a great reminder not to be like that! Wow..I better get to work!

  3. wow...i know i am behind on reading. but this is so true. thanks for the reminder. just because its a sweet tone doesnt mean its sweet intentions. ouch. I needed that too!


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